Facebook funny status updates
You may have been here before : struggling in front of your facebook profile thinking of status update you should put in there but can not find one, nothing flashes. Well here is some of the best solution you can have.. Found this today while blogwalking. This time i'm sure your friend will 'Like' your status update more than listen to your complain. lol.
- fighting a ninja..
- going to the dark side...they have candy
- about to stick a pin in your voodoo doll... brace yourself..
- wondering why the earth is spinning
- ┣▇f͟͞a͟͞c͟͞e͟͞b͟͞o͟͞o͟͞k͟͞▇▇═─™ This drug is very efficient for cases of chronic boredom. Extra doses can lead to addiction
- scratch here ▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒ to reveal today's status.
- U have 10 fish, 5 drown, 3 come back to life. How many fish do you have? Stop counting smart one. Fish cant Drown
- Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak
- says if u need a friend (text me) need a laugh (call me) need a hug (stop by) need money (this number is no longer in service) lol
- Did u know that when some1 annoys u, it takes 42 muscles to frown, But it only takes 4 muscles to extend ur arm out and smack'em in the head
- is a proof that God has a sense of humor...
- cleverly disguised as a responsible adult.
- is suffering from insanity...and enjoying every minute of it!
- undressing your profile pic with his eyes
- totally gonna take over the world one day >=D
- If money doesn't grow on trees then why do banks have branches?
- is naked under his clothes
- just letting you know that your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory
- ٩(•̮̮̃•̃)۶ ٩(-̮̮̃-̃)۶ ٩(●̮̮̃•̃)۶ ٩(͡๏̯͡๏)۶ ٩(-̮̮̃•̃)۶
- is thinking so what if Jesus turned water into wine... I turned a whole student loan into beer once. your move Jesus.
- laying in the road dressed as a deer
- is joining the army. He hears it's a great way to meet people. Then kill them.
- having trouble watering the plastic plants
- wondering how she can go forward when she doesn't know which way she's facing
- is on your mind at this very moment
- we have so much in common. You want to travel,I want you to go .
- thinking of a password for his/her facebook other than “password.”
- I’m thinking of 123abc
- is on his/her way to rob the bank
- throwing peanuts at old ladies
- wondering why you're reading this.
- I just read last year 4,153,237 ppl got married. I don't want to start any trouble, but shouldn't that be an even number?
- without God our week would be: Sinday, Mournday, Tearsday, Wasteday, Thirstday, Fightday, Shatterday. Seven days without God
- Never make the same mistake twice, There are so many new ones, Try a different one each day.
- Dear Math, grow up and solve your own problems.
- status under construction ██████████████] 99%
- If women ruled the world there would be no wars. Just a bunch of jealous countries not talking to each other!
- If we're not supposed to have late night snacks.. why is there a light in the fridge?
- says... Don't let life get in the way of your dreams... go back to sleep!
- In the Beginning, God made the Heaven and Earth. The rest was Made in China.
- wondering what the person who discovered milk was doing with the cow
- Your friendship means so much to me that...When you cry...I cry.When you laugh...I laugh.When you jump out a window...I laugh some more
- ~ Don't call me crazy. I much prefer the term "mentally hilarious"
- had a super busy day today converting oxygen into carbon dioxide.
- Always give 100% at work: 12% Monday, 23% Tuesday, 40% Wednesday, 20% Thursday, 5% Friday
- is the reason the chicken crossed the road...
- is tired of chasing his dreams. I'm just going to ask where they are going and hook up with them later.
- You can’t wake a person who is pretending to be asleep.
- I read an article the other day that said, "if you drink every day you are an alcoholic." Thank god I only drink every night.
- The only thing the doctor found encouraging about my test results was they weren't his.
- making cows laugh and watching milk run out their nose
- is a genius. I can talk and listen to myself at the same time!
- running out of places to hide the bodies...
- says Judge me all you want... just keep the verdict to yourself
- "liking the sun, and the letter in between it"
- The bank says this is my Final Notice. Isn't it fantastic that they're not going to bother me anymore!
- My doctor told me that I had to give up drinking. It's been 3 days now and I feel really dehydrated..
- If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of payments.
- My doctor thinks I'm paranoid. He didn't say it, but I knew that's what he was thinking.
- There may be no excuse for laziness, but I'm sure looking...
- Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.
- The worst part about looking for a job, is finding one.
- is NOT the father!
- has 99 problems already. don't become the 100th one
- being chased by penguins
